I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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