im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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