The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
