he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
