did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
