You're so nebulous sometimes
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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