Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
