I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
