I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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