I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
