Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
