He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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