check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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