Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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