We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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