ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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