Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
