Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
