So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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