have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
birth control should be required to get into college
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
