Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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