before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
