ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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