Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
