k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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