Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
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Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize