did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize