I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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