I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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