Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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