id be glad to
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
