I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
