Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
