i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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