If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
