it hurts more in the daytime
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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