john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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