she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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