just come out here and I will go home with you...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
