good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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