I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Let's get the cat blown out
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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