You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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