Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
