Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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