Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
