I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
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oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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