I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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