my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
