I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
