apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
