i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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