EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
