he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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