This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
