did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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