Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize