if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
