Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize