i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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